The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Monday 12 September 2011

George Osbourne a Coke Head According to Natalie Rowe.

A forner "friend" of George Osbourne has told the New Statesman that George Osbourne regularly snorted cocaine when he worked for William Hague. The Chancellor was unavailable for comment but a source close to him told us; "This is absolutely untrue - George hasn't taken cocaine for ages - well not this this last week anyway." A leading economist who's not rich enough to be a neocon commented. "This might account for his economic policy. Cocaine not only induces a sense of euphoria it also divorces you from reality - both features of the Chancellor's policy." Asked if this revelation might threaten his career, a LibDem spokesperson said; "I shouldn't think so. Many comedians take recreational drugs. However it might have an effect on his part-time career as a politician."

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