The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Saturday 10 September 2011

Bank of England Maintains Low Base Rate.

For the 29th month in a row the Bank of England has done nothing about interest rates and left it to languish 0.5%. In that time mortgage payers have benefitted to the tune of £51 billion while savers have lost £43 billion. Askd why a Bank of England spokesperson said; "Well its obvious isn't it? If we were to put up interest rates many voters would end up on the streets after failing to service their mortgages on their overvalued properties and the banks would lose even more money on their subprime lending." Our reporter asked the government for a comment on this. "We understand that putting up interest rates would give a valuable boost to the economy through increased investment and benefit those people who were sensible enough to save instead of taking out second mortgages to fund film star lifestyles. But that's not the point is it? The most important thing, as we've said many times before, is to protect banks against their own irresponsible lending, protect Tory voters and maintain the artificially high values in the property market. I don't know about you but I wouldn't be too happy if I suddenly found that my mansion in central London was now worth only £10 million when it's valued at £20 million now. As for ordinary people not being able to either afford to buy a house or get a mortgage so what? They can always rent from the new class of slum landlords this country has created over the last twenty years. No, all in all, we support the "independance" of the Bank of England and the hard work they put in to doing absolutely nothing."

No comments:

Post a Comment