The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Sunday, 26 July 2015

Who's Afraid Of Jeremy Corbyn?

So let's get this right. Jeremy Corbyn is a leftie. Jeremy Corbyn is a socialist. Now, forgive me for perhaps missing the point here, but what is so strange about a left-wing socialist party being led by such a man? Unless, of course, the Labour party has now decided that it is not left-wing and is no longer socialist. This seems quite likely given their track record over the last twenty years or so. Perhaps then they should change their name to Tory Lite. Their argument seems to be that socialism is dead, that right-wing neo-liberal economics has won and that the British electorate cannot be persuaded that there is something wrong with greed and selfishness. They may be right but shouldn't some one at least be making the counter-argument? What is wrong with politics being about principles? Why can't a political party take a principled stand, argue the issues, seek to persuade and then win an election when public opinion finally catches up? We have spent the last twenty years watching the Labour party argue that they must win power no matter what the cost, ditching all their principles and then finding themselves unable to do anything worthwhile because they "don't have a mandate". How about this for an idea? Why not point out that the Tories are a bunch of lying crooks and hammer home the point until the electorate realise the truth? Why isn't Labour shaming the Tories on a daily basis for murdering the disabled, for preying on the sick and infirm, for a corrupt economic policies that amount to fraud and for protecting their kiddie-fiddling predecessors? The Tory party is nothing better than organised crime and we need some body to stand up and say so. Labour supporters have been abandoning the party in droves because it no longer represents their views while most of the electorate can't be bothered to vote at all. And why is this? Because a growing number of people see quite clearly that there is nothing for them in the modern political system and that corruption and lies are all they get in return for their support. Those who like corruption and lies vote Tory in any event so what is there to lose by having a bit of backbone and having principles? So who's afraid of Jeremy Corbyn? The Tories are.

Sunday, 5 July 2015

Tories Keep Their Promise To Reduce Inequality.

George Osborne has been outlining his plans to reduce inequality in the country. "The first thing we are going to do," he told our reporter, "is to abolish inheritance tax on houses up to £1 million for those people unfortunate enough to own a mansion. Many of these poor souls are huddled in tiny seven bedroomed houses surrounded by depressing open fields and with only a single drawing room, wine cellar and library between a whole family. Now, of course, this has to be paid for so I've decided to take it from selfish sick people who simply refuse to get better and the unemployed who enjoy a film star lifestyle on benefits. Just in case some of those who happen to own a £1 million mansion by accident in London and are, through no fault of their own, unemployed, I am going to reduce the amount of benefits that northern scroungers can claim outside of London. As you can see I am not afraid to make tough decisions, especially if they are tough on some one else and I am absolutely convinced that these policies will be very popular with those 37% of voters selfish and greedy enough to give us our overwhelming majority. Isn't democracy a wonderful thing!" Convinced by this erudite and convincing argument we asked a working class Tory voter for his opinion. "Oooh, he's just like the Blessed Margaret Thatcher. What wouldn't I give for him to spit in my face. Wonderful people the Tories."