The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Wednesday, 4 January 2012

Panda's £43,000 Party Criticised.

The Captive Animal's Protection Society has lodged a complaint with the Scottish government over a £43,000 welcome party for Edinburgh's new panda's. We asked Tian Tian, one of the panda's for his opinion; "Well, in the first place I'm the female. He's the male over there with the TV remote control. I must admit that after a long and exhausting flight from China all I wanted to do was put my feet up, have a cup of tea and get some sleep. Yang was up for it but then again I've never know him to say no to a free drink. I agree that £43,000 was a bit over the top especially when the catering was pretty average. Still the government ministers seemed to enjoy it, though one of the women MP's did complain when Yang got drunk and pawed her backside. But what do you expect when he was told he was only brought here for a bit of panda porn? It was all right as far as I was concerned until Yang started singing rude songs - even if they were in Chinese. After that things went downhill a bit and I still don't understand where he got the traffic cone from." We asked an unnamed member of the Scottish government for his view; "£43,000? Pocket change for people like us. I spend more than that on my wine cellar to be honest. It's one of the perks of the job - along with not paying tax, living rent free and being fed for nothing."

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