The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Friday 6 January 2012

Obama Administration Shows The Way.


While unemployment continues to rise and manufacturing continues to shrink in Britain, in the United States unemployment has fallen for the fourth month running and manufacturing is recovering strongly. We asked a Tory party spokesperson why this is; "Ah yes well, of course Obama has made the fatal mistake of lowering taxes for ordinary US citizens which has led to stronger demand and a growth in economic activity. He's also failed to undermine worker's rights which has created a growing sense of security and encouraged consumer spending. In Britain we've managed to avoid these obvious pitfalls and have continued to protect the wealthy at the expense of everyone else. This has led to a weakening of demand, a loss of job security, growing unemployment and the shrinking of the manufacturing base - all things that are indispensible for a strong recovery sometime in the next millenium. We feel that this is the correct strategy based on an exhaustive analysis of the economic trends in our imaginations. We've looked at the evidence but we are far too sophisticated to take any notice of the obvious conclusions it indicates. Economics, despite popular belief, is not about how things are but how we Tories would like them to be. Its a well known fact that when starving to death the best thing to do is stop buying food and save the money for your funeral."

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