The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Friday 13 January 2012

Tories Reverse Lords Defeat By Trickery.


In one of the most disgraceful abuses of Parliament last night Lord Freud waited until most peers had left the chamber for the night and then tabled an ammendment that reversed the earlier defeats inflicted on the Welfare Reform Bill. Then, having undermined Parliamentary proceadures, Chris Grayling, Minister For Attacking The Helpless, calmly announced that the government would continue with its policy of punishing the disabled and sick on behalf of protecting the rich. We asked Lord Freud, pictured above, for his view; "Wizard wheeze wasn't it? Now we can get on with being as nasty as we always wanted to be. As a Tory I've never believed that we should allow irrelevant things like opposition in the Lords to get in our way. Disabled and sick people will just have to accept that, as the weakest members of our society, we can treat them with the contempt they deserve. We believe that the British people are behind us on this because, if they weren't, they wouldn't vote for selfish swine like us would they?"

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