The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Saturday 7 January 2012

LibDems Refuse To Return Stolen Money.


Nick Clegg, il capo di tutti capi of the LibDems, has refused to return to innocent victims stolen money that was "donated" to the party. The money, £2.4 million, was given to the party by Michael Brown who was convicted of stealing millions in an investment scam. He used the LibDems, who welcomed him without any checks into his background and took his money with great enthusiasm, to lend him an air of respectability. Now, with the arrest of Brown in the Dominican Republic after yet another scam involving the sale of non-existant oil, those in England who were ripped off by him are poised to sue the LibDems for a return of the stolen money. We asked a LibDem spokesperson for their view; "The money was accepted in good faith and was passed as OK by the Electoral Commission. The fact that we didn't enquire too closely into where the money had come from and the Electoral Commission simply took our word for it proves that the system works - at least as far as we're concerned. In any future legal action we will invoke the well-known legal principle of "finders keepers." This is a time-honoured principle that applies only to political parties found with their hands in the public pocket and other such complex issues that are too difficult for ordinary people to understand. Receiving stolen good is, of course, an offence for everyone else but ceases to have any meaning when it involves the likes of us. I hope that clears up the matter."

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