The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Sunday, 29 March 2015

So Why Won't Dave Debate?

It's the burning political question of the day - why is David Cameron so afraid of a public televised debate? First and foremost, of course, is his record in government. How can Cameron answer when asked "Why are you allowing Iain Duncan Smith to kill British citizens for money simply because they are disabled?" The closest anyone has come to this is when Jeremy Paxman asked the PM about foodbanks. What was Cameron's answer? Evasion. Then there is the embarrassment of Grant Shapps. Why is the Tory election campaign being led by a confidence trickster who trades under the assumed name of Mike Green and then lies about it? Meanwhile the Tory campaign is firmly mired in the dirt with the spectacle of Afzal Armin trying to do a secret deal with the English Defence League to steal the election in Dudley and Ed Miliband being physically threatened by Tory activists in Rotherhithe. Faced with such questions that touch upon both his integrity and honesty it is hardly surprising that Cameron would shy away from a direct debate with the leader of the Labour party. Instead he has resorted to dirty tricks, name calling and false promises. The whole debate-ducking debacle was nothing more than a dirty trick in itself, designed the shield Cameron from direct questioning about his shameful record as PM. As an alternative Cameron offers empty accusations such as describing the Labour party as "hypocritical holier-than-thou, hopeless, sneering socialists”. What is this if not sneering? The Tories told us that they would not raise VAT and then promptly did it. They promised no "top-down reorganization" of the NHS and then did exactly that. What is that if not hypocrisy? And what is more holier-than-thou than pointing at the working poor, the unemployed, the sick and the disabled and telling them that they are nothing more than an expensive liability? As for being hopeless simply look at the state of the British economy which, despite Tory claims, is now geared to deliver only for the rich. The truth is that David Cameron is trying to hide from the electorate. A shifty, double-dealing conman with no possible way to defend his disgraceful premiership is hiding from you and me, hoping against hope that we won't notice his cowardice.

Friday, 13 March 2015

Inside The Tory "Mind".

Every now and then a Tory MP manages to avoid his party whip and tells the media what he really thinks. This week David Tredinnick, Tory MP for Bosworth in Leicestershire, did just that and revealed, as if we didn't know already, that the Tory party has just as many dingbats, nutters and morons in its ranks as UKIP. While the BBC News website is carrying a story that homeopathy has finally been shown to be the ridiculous idiocy it always was, Mr Tredinnick has been championing it on the basis that "Ninety per cent of pregnant French women use homeopathy". So its science nil and 90% of ignorant uninformed pregnant French women one! Case closed. Not content with this stunning revelation Mr Tredinnick then went on the outline why astrology - that's right, astrology - could solve many of the problems facing the NHS. "Astrology," he tells us confidently, "is a useful diagnostic tool enabling us to see strengths and weaknesses via the birth chart." To clinch his argument he also informed us that "Hippocrates once said, 'A physician without a knowledge of astrology has no right to call himself a physician.' Unfortunately Hippocrates (c. 460 – c. 370 BC) also believed that "the body contains within itself the power to re-balance the four humours and heal itself." In other words patients, no matter what their infirmity, should be immobilized and left to get on with it. None of this would be of much import of course - after all irrational thought processes are to be expected in a political party that believes that taxing rich people returns less revenue and in times of famine rich people should be fed bigger meals - but it just so happens that Mr.Tredinnick is also the chairman of the All-Party Group for Integrated Healthcare. This, as I'm sure you'll agree, is a bit like making Scarlet O'Hara a relationship councilor. Still when you have a government with Iain Duncan Smith in charge of the DWP, Michael Gove in charge of Education, Jeremy Hunt in charge of the NHS, George Osborne in charge of the economy and Boris Johnson as mayor of London, its probably not that unthinkable after all.

Saturday, 7 March 2015

Devious Dave Dodges Debate.

David Cameron, according to Jacob Rees-Mogg speaking on Channel Four News, is avoiding a televised debate during the forthcoming election campaign because the media is full of "left-wing people". This might come as a shock to the Tory party but, after five years of their right-wing lunacy, so is the rest of the country. Most of us are used to the Tories avoiding debate of any kind and simply pursuing their insane slash-and-burn policies at the expense of everyone else, but it seems that the media and the other political parties are bemused by Cameron's complete refusal to engage in democratic debate. There are two very good reasons why they shouldn't be. First and foremost is that David Cameron, like all Tories, doesn't like democracy too much and would prefer to return to the good old 19th Century system of only allowing rich people to vote. Second, and far more important, is Cameron's reluctance to defend his record in government. Pretending that the country is recovering economically, that unemployment is down and that wages are now beginning to grow will only get you so far it seems - especially when none of these things are actually true. The reality - the explosion in the need for food banks, the shame of growing homelessness, an entire wasted generation (yet again), the cancer of zero-hour contract low-paid work, fewer policemen on the beat, fewer doctors and nurses, the lack of a credible defence, rising immigration, tax cuts for the rich and spending cuts for the poor, the selling of the country's assets to various organised crime syndicates, and the all too evident greed and selfishness of the Tory party - is difficult, if not impossible, to defend. Cameron's solution, it would seem, is not to bother while, at the same time, dangling carrots in front of the electorate that he has absolutely no intention of honouring after the election. To say, as much of the press and all of the opposing political parties are doing, that Cameron is "chicken" misses the point entirely. Cameron is no more "chicken" than any other confidence trickster, shyster or snake-oil salesman. Avoiding any meaningful debate about his disastrous premiership is simply part of his make up and stems from his insufferable upper-class arrogance and complete disconnect with the rest of us lesser mortals. The fact that the Tories have to wheel out the aristocratic (in his mind at least) Jacob Rees-Mogg of all people to defend themselves tells us all we need to know about the public school "Boys Own" London club that the Tory party have always wanted to be. The Tories are and always have been a complete disaster for this country. Masquerading as the friend of business they have always sought to undermine commerce by attacking the very basis of its success - demand. The Tories are no more interested in the capitalist system than was William the Conqueror, Ghengis Khan or Vlad the Impaler. Their vision is for a kind of updated 21st century feudalism in which the rich, greedy and selfish do as they please and the rest of us peasants gratefully tug at our forelocks.

Sunday, 1 March 2015

Cameron: Why Children Should Be Taught To Be Greedy And Selfish.

David Cameron has been outlining his thoughts about the proper way to bring up children to the Institute of Directors Magazine. Children, he told the magazine, should be taught "how to turn a profit" in order to combat the evil "job killing regulations" coming out of the European Community. "The arts and science are as nothing when compared to making money," Cameron told our reporter when we quizzed him about his interview. "We must instill in our children a love of money above all else and rid them of any fanciful ideas that they might become astronauts, pop stars, painters, sculptors, novelists, scientists or, God forbid, charity workers. Its time we turned our children's eyes away from the stars and back to the gutter where I and my rich mates live. As for protecting the rights of ordinary working people, or the peasants as I like to call them, why bother? Anyone whose interests are not solely concerned with making money doesn't deserve any protection. Bankers, on the other hand, need all the protection we can give them whether its actually legal or not. Where would we all be if bankers had to answer for their criminal activity? The Tory party wouldn't exist for a start and that, as I'm sure you'll agree, would be a tragedy. Greed and selfishness are the core values we need to instill in children before they even start thinking about such rubbish as the meaning of life, what constitutes good and evil and what the future might hold. Once greed and selfishness have taken hold such questions become irrelevant. What is the meaning of life? Making a profit, obviously. What is good and evil? Good is being richer than your neighbour and evil is missing an opportunity to turn a decent profit out of someone else's misery. What does the future hold? More and more money - what else? The real strength of Tory philosophy is its "Can do - if I can get away with it" attitude and in its complete disregard for thinking instead of simply grabbing what you can. As Descartes once said; "I'm greedy, selfish and don't think too much, therefore I am."