The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Sunday 1 January 2012

European Leaders Warn That 2012 Will Be Bloody Awful.


European leaders, in an uncharacteristic show of unity, have issued warnings that 2012 will be even worse than 2011. We asked an EU spokesperson for more details; "The economy of Europe will continue to decline as our leaders heroically defend the banks at the expense of everyone else. We are asking people to be stoical as we pauperise them and to understand that there is no alternative if we are to protect the more important rich people in Europe. We are confident that the present economic crisis will bring the whole of Europe closer together - especially as they queue for food this winter. As for democracy - normal service will be resumed as soon as possible with a swift return to elections with no real choice and election pledges that will broken as soon as the elections are over."

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