Liam Fox Blames Military For Cuts In Defence.

In a breakthrough for the Tory Party Liam Fox has discovered a means of implimenting his parties usual tactic of blaming the victims. "I've been wracking my brains for a way to apply this tactic to the armed forces and then it hit me like a bolt of lightening. Why not just say it without offering any explaination at all?" Fox told "The News In Shorts." "It works a bit like that children's game "join the dots." All you have to do is say something and then wait for someone else to offer an explaination and pick out the one that suits you best. It's brilliant." We asked Professor Rommel, a defence expert at Oxford University, for his views; "Well, Mr.Fox has a point. If the armed forces would stop getting their toys dirty by using them abroad they wouldn't need so much money." Asked if using equipment abroad wasn't the result of being ordered to do so by the government, Professor Rommel replied; "Technically that's true. But if they'd simply throw bodies at an enemy, as they did during World War I, and save on equipment they wouldn't be in the mess they're in now. After all there are plenty of unemployed kids hanging around street corners who could be useful in this regard. In fact that tactic might save money if servicemen's wages were linked to experience. As they were killed they could replaced with some feral school - leaver at half the price. Such a business-like approach would almost be self-funding."