Local Councils Get Tough With The Weak And Vulnerable.

On what can only be described as a slow newsday several Tory councils have been forced to release facts about their policies on a day that they can't hide them. Kent County Council (Tory) has announced that its mental health care will no longer be free, Devon County Council (Tory) is planning to throw yet more people out of work and, as previously reported, Nottinghamshire County Council (Tory) has decided to flog off its care homes. "We have no choice," one County Council spokesperson told us. "Normally we'd try to hide behind some awful story about a tidal wave in the third world or something but nature has refused to cooperate on this occassion. It's enough to make you wonder if God is a Tory after all." Asked about the human cost of all this bad news the spokesperson responded with; "What human cost? These people aren't strictly human in the full meaning of the word - many of them don't even vote Tory. As to the cost, that's the whole point isn't it? The only way that Britain can be turned around is to encourage the rich, greedy and selfish to be even more rich, greedy and selfish. If the last 30 years have taught us anything its that there's been too much regulation and too much tax money wasted on people who should have the decency to go off and die. People accuse us of being inhuman, but what's more human than being greedy, stupid and selfish? And, as Hitler once told the Jews, we're all in this together."