The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Tuesday, 6 September 2011

Courts To Allow The Media In.

In a perplexing move today the government has announced that cameras will be alowed into courts. Our media correspondent when asked was very positive about the idea. "It will give the BBC something new to televise live on their otherwise boring Parliament channel I suppose, but what really excites me is Channel 4's plans. They're going to replace "Big Brother" with a programme called "Blind Justice" and are pushing for permission to televise live from Wormwood Scrubs in a programme they're hoping to call "Criminal X Factor." It's a pity they dropped capital punishment back in the 1960's. Can you imagine the viewing figures for a live execution?" A government spokesman was less enthusiastic about such media projects but said that televising trials was a positive move. "It's a pity we didn't do this when we were trying the rioters. That would have been marvelous considering our modern 24 hour lifestyles nowadays." Asked about televising trials of MP's accused of fiddling their expenses the spokesman was considerably less enthusiastic. "Ah, now then - that wouldn't be such a good idea since it might be seen as an unwarrented intrusion into people's private lives. Rioters and riffraff like that have no reputations to protect as such, but rich people and people in the public eye like MP's do." Ed Miliband, when asked about this had a similar raection; "Bloody hell! Does that mean that they might televise Margaret Moran's trial?"

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