The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Tuesday 6 September 2011

Professor Harrington Reports on Disability Reassessment.

Professor Malcolm Harrington spoke of the progress he's making in improving the way the government assesses the diasabled today. "It wouldn't be fair to say that a system in which nothing actually works is broken - accurate, but not fair. It's clear that the government didn't get everything right. Classifying dead people as fit for work was a bit embarassing but we took our inspiration from my colleague, Stephen Hawking. He is what most people would regard as severely disabaled but it hasn't stopped him holding down a job has it? If more disabled people took Stephen as their model we'd be streets ahead in terms of cosmology by now. We can't just stop our improvement of the benefit system just because a few people paralysed from the neck down have been asked to apply for jobs as hod carriers can we? Look at the present government. Most of the cabinet are actually paralysed from the neck up but that hasn't stopped them from getting jobs - even if they are only part-time."

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