110,000 Civil Servants Ditched in Three Months.

110,000 civil servants have bee thrown out of work in the last three months while the private sector has only managed to generate 41,000 jobs in the same period it emerged today. "This is excellent news," David Cameron told our reporter. "At this rate there'll be no government at all within a year. It's a bit disappointing that the private sector has failed to step up to the plate, but, heyho, you can't have everything." George Osbourne was particularly pleased with the figures; "This proves what we've always believed - putting people out of work is very satisfying if  you can hang onto your own while you're doing it." Meanwhile, against the background of a threatened general strike in November, Eric Pickles commented; "Everything is going to plan. We've got rid of a huge number of civil servants and the rest are about to go on strike. The economy is tanking and were still fighting wars on two fronts with a shrinking army, navy and air force. Then there's the NHS which is about to disappear once and for all. I've had worse wet dreams than this!"