The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Thursday 8 September 2011

52% of Americans Believe That Barak Obama is a Republican.

In a shock finding 52% of Americans seem to believe that President Barak Obama is actually a Republican. Asked about his handling of the economy most Americans blamed him for the insanity of Republicans who would see the United States economy destroyed rather than vote for measures to save it. "I don't get it," an unnamed White House spokesman told our US reporter. "Barak Obama tries his best to save the United States from economic meltdown, the Republicans stop him at every turn and Americans blame the President. Am I missing something?" An expert on American affairs at Oxford University told "The News in Shorts"; "Well, they've got their bloody heads up their arses haven't they. They elect a man to reverse the utter madness of eight years of Republican government, land him with a Congress that would rather die to a man than support his efforts to save them and then blame him for it. As H.G.Wells once said; 'Every time you look across the Atlantic for the American eagle all you see is the rear end of an ostrich." We asked George Osbourne for his reaction but he was still laughing about his masturbation joke at last night's politician of the year award.

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