The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Tuesday, 6 September 2011

CBI Think That Osbourne's An Idiot As Well

John Cridland, head of the CBI, has broken his silence on George Osbourne's economic policy. "I don't mind thousands being thrown out of work if it means that working people are more easily intimidated," he told reporters. "I don't even mind ordinary people having to pay more tax as long as I don't have to, but the government's economic policy is now hitting profits and that's just not on. Our members are the wealth creators in this country and, even if they keep most of that wealth to themselves, I think the government should protect them more. What we need is a stimulus to the economy to put more money into the hands of the rich otherwise we're in danger of reversing the gains we've made in terms of greed and selfishness over the last few years. Now I'm the first to admit that such a stimulus might put some money into the hands of poorer people but that can't be helped. Anyway the government could always put council tax up or soemthing to prevent this. The most important thing is that decent profits mean better working conditions for company directors who have suffered unspeakably over the last two years and happier shareholders who think they control the purse strings. What the bloody hell is Osbourne doing? We need a stimulus now, before next years holiday season begins and we're all forced to go to bloody Teneriffe instead of San Tropez. Some of my members have had to ground their private jets and put their yachts into dry dock for Christ's sake!"

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