David Amess Criticises the BBC

David Amess, Tory MP for some smug, self-satisfied market town, has criticised the BBC for "bias" and for inappropriate behviour by the presenters. Accusing female presenters of using too much botox he regards their smiling during serious news stories as "annoying." "I can't believe how insincere they are," he continued. "In my profession you have to be much better at faking sincerity than that and I think they need more training. Mind you, what can you expect when the BBC insists on filling their studios with useless bloody women? As a thoroughly modern politician with his finger on the pulse of the nation I can tell you that we need more presenters like Malcolm Muggeridge, Alan Whicker and Richard Dimbleby. Now they were presenters who understood what was really important - things like me and the Tory party." Asked for their comments a BBC spokesman said "David who? Isn't he a cricket player or something?"