Greece To Be Given More Money They Don't Want.

Inspectors from the troika of international creditors supporting Greece, the European Central Banks, the European Commission and the IMF, were prevented from holding talks with the Greek government by ordinary people blocking the entrances to several government offices. As one Greek citizen told us; "We've noticed that, the money these people give us, the poorer we seem to get. Why is that?" We asked our economics expert for his view; "Ah, well. The money isn't actually going to the country as such - it's going straight to the banks who lent Greece money for no viable or sensible commercial reason. When the banks suddently realised that they had lent depositors funds to people who had no chance of ever paying it back, they wanted it back straight away. So the banks told the rest of Europe that if they didn't pay the debt back they would shoot themselves in the head. They, of course, fell over themselves to save the banks from their own complete and utter incompetence and the banks immediately celebrated by giving themselves huge bonuses. Ordinary Greeks couldn't possibly be expected to understand this because they lack the sophisticated analytical intelligence that all bankers are blessed with from birth." We asked a spokesman from the Greek government for his explanation; "These loans are necessary if the rest of the world is not to see Greek politicians as complete fuckwits. It's a matter of national honour. I see the Greek government as latter-day Spartans, bravely defending Thermopylae against overwhelming odds." Er, didn't the Spartans actually lose that one?