Tories Plan to Throw 80,000 Children Onto the Street.

The Children's Society has revealed that government plans to cap housing costs to £500 per month could mean as many as 80,000 children being made homeless. Eric Pickles, rubbing his hands together in glee, told our reporter.; "Marvelous isn't it? If we can get that many poor kids on the street our deal with Netcare should really pay dividends." Asked for his comments David Cameron said; "People shouldn't think that the government doesn't care about these people. We do, they are the seedcorn of the future - or at least the potential organ donors of the future. You have to think about the export potential of 80,000 kids with two kidneys each. At £10,000 a pop - well you work out the math." Nick Clegg, now sporting his new toothbrush moustache told us; "Liberalism has always preached the benefits of free trade and selling kids futures doesn't come much freer. I've always said that there isn't enough affordable housing in this country and, looking on the bright side, this might free up a few more homes for those who can afford to pay their council tax without recourse to public funds." Michael Gove had a more unique view of this potential disaster; "The most important thing in life is a good education and having to survive on the streets will certainly give these kids an education. Soon we'll not only have "free schools" for the rich we'll also have open air schools for the poor."