The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Wednesday 14 September 2011

Footballer Denies Terrorist Involvement in 9/11

Nathan Eccleston, a striker for Liverpool FC, has claimed that terrorists were not responsible for 9/11 on Twitter. A spokesman for the club told "The News in Shorts."; "This is a storm in a teacup. OK, so Nathan claimed that terrorists didn't bring down the twin towers but, lets face it, being an intellectual isn't exactly a requirement to be a footballer. All they really need to know is which boot goes on which foot and they even have someone to help them with that. Being thick is no bar to a glittering career in football, in fact its actually regarded as a qualification." We asked the Minister for People Who Actually Think That Football is Important for his comment; "I've been following Nathan on Twitter and, I must say, he does put some very important points forward. Is it simply a coincidence that not one British Trade Union offcial was actually in the twin towers on 9/11 for instance?" We asked Nathan for his own comments and he told us; "It woz an inside job wunnit. There weren't no planes - the towers were brunged down by the CIA, innit?"

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