The Bullingdon Club.

David Cameron defended his student days as a member of the infamous Bullingdon Club. The club, originally founded in the 19th century as a hunting and cricket club, has changed over the years to become a drinking club in which members behave like common criminals and then bribe their way out of trouble. "We were nothing like the recent rioters," David Cameron stoutly maintained. "The rioters committed criminal acts because they thought they could get away with it. We committed criminal acts because we knew we could get away with it. The rioters were common criminals while we were criminals with posh accents. There's just no comparison." Investigation into other members of the club during Cameron's time as a student reveal that many of them hold important positions in the media, the law, business and politics. Most refused to comment but one agreed to do so if his identity was kept secret. "We might appear to have been unspeakable yobs at first glance, but the Bullingdon Club was an important training ground for the Tory Party. If you're going to destroy and entire economy and smash up an entire society you have to start with something smaller - restaurants for instance - and work your way up. The modern battle for Britain was won in the gutters of Oxford by a brave generation of posh chancers and spivs who are not afraid the risk everyone else's future to make this country safe for the greedy and selfish!"