The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Sunday 5 February 2012

Tory Rank And File Think Party Is Not Evil Enough.


Much of the Tory rank and file are angry that David Cameron and his bunch of cronies are not taking advantage of the electorate's complete stupidity and are failing to be as evil as they could be. We asked a leading Tory businessman, pictured above, for his opinion; "David Cameron has a chance here to really put the boot into the working-class scum in this country but seems reluctant to do so. Taking money from disabled children was a good start but we have yet to see them starving in the streets. Nor have the unemployed been hounded anywhere near enough to chase non-existant and badly paid jobs so that people like me can get our hands on even more cash. Worse yet he has utterly failed to champion the bankers, whose brilliance and economic common sense have been an outstanding success over the last 30 years. He should reinstate Fred Goodwin's knighthood for a start off - I think he's been punished enough after getting only a measly £12 million for his old age. I must say, however, that the government's handling of the public finances has been outstanding with the economy nearer to its last gasp than it has been in many years. The problem seems to be that he's too centarist -chasing votes when he doesn't need to ans listening to the electorate who are of no account whatsoever. He's got most people completely blindsided and should now press home the advantage to pauperise the entire country while he has the chance. As to Europe, he should now build on his success after using the veto and isolate us completely from the only markets we have left. What he needs to do is ditch the LibDems, call an early election and think up a whole new raft of promises he doesn't intend to keep while failing to mention the nasty things we in the party want doing. Personally I won't be happy until I have stuffed working class child as a footstool."

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