The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Lansley Turns To Bullying (Again).

Andrew Lansley, Minister for Privatising the NHS, runner up in the "Most Evil Tory of the Year" award and outright winner of the "Tory Thick as a Brick" award, has been bullying non-executive directors in the NHS to stop them criticising his NHS Reform Bill. Supposed to represent the public in Primary Care Trusts, the non-executive directors who have criticised the bill have been sent letters that tell them; "You are bound by the NHS Code of Conduct and as such it is inappropriate for individuals to raise their personal concerns about the proposed government reforms." We asked Andrew Lansley for his view; "Bullying is a long-accepted and perfectly legitimate method of management when you find yourself opposed by just about everyone -at least in the Tory party. I've tried to be reasonable - ignoring other's opinions and lying through my teeth - but some people just don't know when to quit. I thought that once we'd gotten the LibDems on side we'd be home free but, for some reason I can't fathom, it turns out that no one actually trusts them. Go figure! Then there's the House of Lords. They were easy to dodge simply by pretending the NHS bill is actually a finance bill and hey presto! Still, David Cameron and I make a majority of two and that's all that counts really. I fully intend to carry on with my campaign to make the NHS safe for bloodsuckers like me to plunder. There's simply no alternative."

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