The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Sunday, 12 February 2012

Cameron And Lansley Fight To The Finish.

When the Tories went into the Coalition government the editor of the "News In Shorts" sent an e-mail to them warning that any attempt to privatise the NHS would be disasterous for them and for the country. For some unaccountable reason they ignored the message (presumably because unlike Rupert Murdoch our editor doesn't own a private jet). Hurt pride aside, the editor would like to say with great humility - "Ha, ha, told you so!" However the editor cannot help but admire David Cameron for his grim determination to stick to his guns and be his unutterably arrogant and stupid self. With at least three cabinet ministers now sounding the alarm, almost everyone in the country against the reforms and the party terrified that they've been found out, Cameron is still voicing his complete accord with Andrew Lansley. In the "Times" today he said that Lansley's reforms are "absolutely necessary if I and my cronies are to cash in on other people's misery," before adding. "Labour is being politically opportunistic in their evil campaign to stop good people like Andrew Lansley and I from making a fortune out of this. I will, of course, get rid of Lansley as soon as my pride allows it, since he's proved to be even more stupid than I am, but I need him at the moment to shield me from the flack." We asked Nick Clegg for his reaction but he declined to comment on the basis that "David won't let me."

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