The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Thursday 2 February 2012

How Many Civil Servants Are On The Fiddle?


A top civil servant, Ed Lester head of the Student Loans Company, has been avoiding paying tax it has emerged and, what's more, such arrangements are widespread. While the rest of us have our tax stopped at source through PAYE, these public servants are paid through private companies dedicated to avoiding tax all with the blessing of the tax department. Not content with earning a thoroughly undeserved £182,000 per year, Mr.Lester and those like him deliberately avoid tax so they don't have to support the services they take advantage of quite happily. No wonder students now have to take out loans rather than receiving grants as they used to and no wonder the NHS is sinking under the burden of savage cuts. Now we know why we have to suffer high levels of unemployment, as hospitals close, libraries are abandoned and disabled children have their benefits cut. It was never about saving the country - it was always about the elite not having to pay tax. We asked Danny Alexander, Chief Secretary to the Treasury, after his roasting in the House today for his comments; "As Chief Secretary to the Treasury I didn't have a clue that this was going on since I've been far too busy fleecing ordinary people and chasing plumbers to take much notice of what top civil servants are up to. I did sign off this deal but I can't be expected to read every piece of paper that crosses my desk unless it presents me with the opportunity to torture the poor. And, in any case, these people are rich and are above such petty considerations as paying tax. We have to enter such deals in order to attract the right calibre of spiv into these positions otherwise we might lose them to such organisations as the Iranian Secret Service, the Russian Mafia or the Columbian Drug Cartels. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment with my offshore bank manager."

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