The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Tuesday 14 February 2012

Baroness Warsi Calls For More Irrational Thought In Politics.


Baroness Warsi, Chairman of the Tory party (and no that's not a mistake, she insists on being called "Chairman") has warned about the increase of an intolerant "militant secularism" that is sidelining religion. Christianity, she insists, should be at the centre of our public life, while Britain and the whole of Europe should reaffirm "the religious foundations on which our societies are built." Leaving aside the obvious schizophrenia of a Muslim calling for a resurgeance of Christianity and the strange idea that Britain's traditional secularism is based on intolerance, there are the small matters of a British politician insisting that irrational thought processes are superior to rational ones or that the seperation of state and religion should be reversed after 300 years. We asked the somewhat confused Baroness to explain exactly what she's talking about; "In times like these, when the world is facing grave economic problems, when world tensions are higher than they have been for decades and climate change seems poised to decimate the world's population, the last thing we need is expertise based on sound scientific principles. No, what we all need to do is to appeal to an invisible bearded diety who lives in the sky to forgive us our sins. We must turn our backs on intolerant secularism that has given us such things as freedom and the ability to make rational decisions, and, instead, embrace the toleration of religion which has given us such things as burning witches at the stake, the Inquisition and the Crusades. We need the tolerance of the Pilgrim Fathers who left Britain in order to be free to persecute anyone who disagreed with them. We must no longer stand aside as the essential tolerance of stoning gays and adulterers to death is denied its rightful place in society and the disabled are not blamed for the sins that caused their afflictions."

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