The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Monday 6 February 2012

Select Committee Warn Of Right Wing Terrorism.


In an unusual display of perspicacity the Home Affairs Select Committee has warned the government about the dangers of extreme right-wing terrorism. "Many extreme right-wingers hate minorities," Keith Vaz, the Labour chairman of the committee, told the "News In Shorts," "and will target small groups such as the disabled, foreigners and the poor. They will often display a sense of grievance against such people - unfairly blaming them for the country's problems while completely ignoring the real culprits. We have increasing evidence that far-right organisations in Britain are making contact with similar groups in Europe and sharing information." We asked a leading Tory member of the committee for his view; "Ian Duncan Smith has expressed his own growing unease about this development and is firmly convinced that much of it is due to the long-term unemployed, many of whom are secret billionaire international terrorists, and the disabled, most of whom are known to carry explosive devices in their wheelchairs. Andrew Lansley harbours deep suspicions about doctors and nurses and Michael Gove has no doubt that many teachers are actually closet terrorists. However, both David Cameron and George Osborne believe that we can limit the threat by paying banker's bonuses, raising executive pay and cutting taxes on the wealthy. This, they are certain, will remove the basis of all unfounded grievances and return the country to its former state of happy unconsciousness." Our own political editor expressed a different perspective on the committee's warnings; "Is Keith Vaz taking the piss or what?"

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