The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Tuesday, 28 February 2012

George Osbornes Runs Out Of Ideas.

In a shocking admission of complete ineptitude George Osborne has told the "Telegraph" that he has run out of money and out of ideas. We asked the only state sponsored moron in the world for an explaination; "Well its not difficult to run out of ideas when you only actually have one that is so obviously idiotic that only a Tory could believe it. It seemed like a good idea to cut spending in the same way that an ordinary household does in times of hardship. It never occured to me that an ordinary householder wouldn't also throw his own children out of work, give away all his possessions and then resign his own job while, at the same time, subsidising his unmeployed kids, buying back the things he gave away and financing his unaltered lifestyle on his credit card. It never dawned on me that throwing everyone out of work would reduce income from taxes while, at the same time, increasing expenditure on benefits. Now there's no money left and I can't stimulate the economy even if I wanted to. Still, at least I can take solace in the knowledge that it was all Labour's fault."

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