The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Lansley Refuses To Reveal The Truth In Parliament.

In an astonishing display of utter deviousness Andrew Lansley has today refused to say wether he will release the risk assessment on the NHS demanded by the information commissioner. We asked the Minister For Flogging Off The NHS To His Mates for his comments; "I had perfectly good reasons for not releasing the risk assessment - it would have revealed that I am a complete idiot with no conception of what a Health Ministry is actually for. Worse yet it would also show that my reform bill is a grave danger to the NHS and will cost so much that the whole thing is likely to fall apart. What the people who wrote it fail to understand is that this is my intention. I can't flog it off until I've almost completely destroyed it and persuaded the electorate that we have to sell the corpse before its too late. Once that's achieved we can get in a bunch of bloodsuckers to "save" it and start charging the general public vast amounts of money for the most basic level of healthcare. Now that I'm sure you'll agree, though it doesn't matter if you don't, is well worth doing - at least for the likes of me."

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