The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Monday, 27 February 2012

Liam Fox Calls On Cameron To Curtail Workers Rights.

Liam Fox, the disgraced former Secretary of State for Defence who was involved in some very murky dealings with some very murky people, has called on David Cameron to axe other people's rights at work. "I was guilty of nothing," he told our reporter. "Or at least guilty of nothing that anyone could prove. I have taken the principled stand that working people, who were also not guilty of any crime, should be made to pay for the gross misjudgements of bankers by having their rights at work taken off them. This makes perfect sense when you realise that business has to make up for a lot of lost ground after it proved completely incompetent in the recent past. We in the Tory instantly recognised that this was our chance to inflict as much damage as possible on working-class scum who are guilty of not being rich enough or being as devious as we are. We need to make rich people richer by giving them tax cuts while, at the same time deregulating business to release its pent up potential for sheer criminality. The peasantry, on the other hand, need to be shown who their masters actually are and removing their ability to protest is a valuable first step. If David Cameron does as I advise he could be lighting his cigars with Magna Carta by next week."

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