The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Saturday, 18 February 2012

Cameron In Last Ditch Defence Of NHS Bill.

David Cameron has mounted a last ditch attempt to save Lansley's bill to privatise the NHS in a high level meeting at No.10. As an attempt to persuade those opposed to support the bill, however, it lacks one crucial ingredient - those invited only include organisations that already agree. Those who disagree are, apparently, persona non grata. At last Cameron and Lansley will be able to claim rightly that everyone agrees with them - in the room at any rate. Cameron has billed the meeting as a chance to show where the Tories "are coming from," presumably because they don't want anyone to know where they're going. We asked a government spokesman for more details; "The Prime Minister and Minister for Privatising the NHS are very keen to be seen pretending the bill has at least some support before they are forced to do a humiliating u-turn and Lansley is burned at the stake. We still believe that privatising the NHS is a good idea since we, in the Tory party, hope to cash in on it at some in the future. However, we also recognise that the bill has become an albatross around our necks and might well lose us the next general election. That would be disastrous since we need an outright majority to force through privatisation when we can actually get away with it."

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