The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Sunday, 12 February 2012

Eric Pickles Rips Away The Mask.

Eric Pickles, invigorated by his rant about councils having the right to be as barmy as they like, has now decided that the country needs to know the truth about the Tory party. In the "Telegraph" today he openly admits that the Tories are following an ideological agenda more radical than "Thatcher in full flight." Forget the "need" to clear up "Labour's mess." Forget the "need" to reduce the deficit at breakneck speed. It's all about what the Tories want and not what the country needs. To add insult to injury Pickles then tells readers that he is proud that his "blue blood is pulsing in his veins." Blue blood? Has he been promoted to the ranks of the aristocracy or is he referring to the state of the brick he uses instead of a heart? Nor does the bad news end there because Pickles goes on to assure readers that David Cameron, despite his attempts to pretend that he is a caring human being, is in fact a "true heir of Thatcher." Bizzarely he cites "Plants Vs Zombies" as his favourite iPad game in which the player has to throw potted plants at zombies to prevent them "eating your brains." Presumably he's not very good at it.

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