The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Friday 17 February 2012

Students Told Their Human Rights Only Apply In Libya.

Students Katy Moore and Callum Hurley pictured above have been told by a British court of law that, while raising the cap on students fees was illegal, it did not abridge their human rights. The court also found that the government had failed to meet its public service equality duties, but that it wasn't appropriate to quash the regulations since the Universities had proven to be as greedy as the government thought they would be. We asked a triumphant Tory spokesperson for the government's reaction; "This is a great day for freedom in Britain - or at least our freedom to do whatever the hell we like. The court found that the changes were "unlawful" but we don't have to worry about that nonsense - the law is whatever we say it is. We are cheered that the court found that the student's human rights were not abridged and I suggest if they don't like it they should bugger off to Libya where the question of the right to an education is worth fighting for. People in this country have to realise that human rights only apply to Tory voters and foreigners with oil and the right to an education is reserved for those who can afford it and those stupid enough to put themselves into a lifetime of debt in the forlorn hope of improving themselves. Universities can now go back to doing what they're supposed to do - educating the children of the rich and preparing them for a life of tax avoidance and educating the children of rich foreigners for up-front fees. Meanwhile we can get back to what we do best - flogging off Britain's assets for as much money as we can can get our sticky fingers on."

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