The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Sunday, 12 February 2012

Greek Premier Struck Blind.

While thousands of rioters took to the streets in Athens, battling with the police and burning portions of the city, the unelected technocrat Greek PM, Lucas Papademos, warned of anarchy if his austerity programme isn't voted through parliament. Their sacrifice, he told the Greek public, is necessary not to save their jobs, businesses and their economic future, but so that Greece can continue using the Euro. "There is nothing as important than Greece continuing to pretend that it is important enough to share the same currency as Germany and France. Parents having to dump their children on the streets is as nothing compared to the need to protect the pride of Greek politicians. We lied our way into the Euro and must now be willing to sacrifice the entire population in order to protect our reputations and pension funds. We are a breath away from ground zero and I've lost the key to the bunker."

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