The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

Tories Offer Choice Between Loopholes For The Wealthy.

Alarmed at the idea that they might have upset the wealthy middle-classes over family allowance, the Tories are openly asking them if they prefer the loopholes offered by the 50p top rate of tax or the loopholes on offer in a "mansion tax." This is in a marked contrast to the choices offered to the poor which consited of "like it or lump it." We asked David Cameron, pictured above with fellow Tory party members at a private screening of "Schindler's List," for his comments; "We live in a democracy where it is only fair that those with money should be given choices about how they avoid paying tax. I'll freely admit that the controversy over family allowance has been a bit of a home goal. Taking free money from rich people? What were we thinking? So to make up for this shock it seems only fair to compensate them by the back door. As for giving poor people choice - what for? Poor people only waste money on things like heating and lighting, food and the occassional pair of shoes. Rich people, on the other hand, spend their money on far more imaginative things such as Aston Martins, good wine and pate. They're used to making choices while the poor have no choice and they shouldn't be confused by giving them any. The best thing to do with them is to lash them with a riding crop to keep them shuffling on."

No comments:

Post a Comment