The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Friday, 16 March 2012

Nick Clegg In A Further Betrayal.

In what has become a depressingly familiar pantomime Nick Clegg has once again betrayed the country while hiding behind s fig leaf. He has finally agreed to allow the Tories to reward the greedy by lowering the highest rate of income tax and substitute a "Tycoon Tax" that will be much easier to dodge. According to the Tories paying 10p in the £1 is enough to prevent businessmen and entrepeneurs from getting out of bed in the morning while making it easier for them to pile up the dosh will galvanise them into action. As an idea it has as much to recommend it as the idea that paying huge amounts of money to bankers is necessary to attract "the best people," or that paying poor people less and taking away their rights will make them more eager to work. We asked Nick Clegg for his comments; "I didn't want to upset my Tory pals so had to look around for an acceptable way to let everyone else down while still appearing to do the right thing. My Tycoon Tax, with built-in loopholes you could drive an elephant through, was the answer and I'm very pleased that I've managed to palm it off on the British people. Fortunately most of them only have enough intelligence to swill copious amounts of lager and watch a football match and, with the help of The Sun, The Daily Mail and the BBC, I have effectively been able to pull the wool over their eyes yet again. Most of them now agree that taxing rich people less while they are squeezed until the pips squeek is a good idea and I must say that I can now see the advantages of Tory tactics which treat the electorate as the dummies they are."

No comments:

Post a Comment