The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Thursday, 22 March 2012

Osborne Admits Dodging Tax.

After the taunting by Ed Milliband after his budget, George Osborne has told the BBC that he is not a top rate of tax payer. His excuse is that his salary as Chancellor is less than £150,000 per year. Which rather begs the question as to how much tax he pays on his other multi-million pound earnings. We asked the world's first part time millionaire for an explaination; "Well, obviously I don't pay any tax on my other business activities because I am well placed to take advantage of the loopholes I've accidently left in the tax system. I have talked to myself about this but have been forced to conclude that closing the loopholes is not in the best interests of the country since it would cost me money. One of the reasons I got rid of the 50p top rate of tax is that I feel guilty about avoiding it and feel that avoiding paying 45p is much less reprehensible - not to mention much easier. Just because I happen to have millions of pounds doesn't make me rich. Compared to many bankers, for instance, I'm a relative pauper. However, the new higher stamp duty on property worth more than £2 million has caused me great personal suffering and has forced me to give up my hobby of buying a new mansion every week. Given that we're all in this together I felt I had no choice but to be tough on myself in the intrests of the nation. I'm practically a martyr."

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