The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Wednesday, 28 March 2012

Smug, Self-Satisfied Millionaire Fuels Tory Vengeance.

Adrian Beecroft, head of the disgusting loan shark company and whose only qualifications are that he is a smug, self-satisfied millionaire who has donated £593,000 to the Tory party, wants to take all rights from workers. "I should be allowed to sack unproductive workers at will," he claims. "And I will decide who is productive or not - including that little blonde bitch in the office who won't let me bonk her." Somewhat apalled this reporter, having been sacked myself at the age of 18 because I rebuffed the homosexual advances of the Managing Director, asked a Tory party spokesperson for their reaction; "We think this is a wonderful idea. With bosses being able to wander around, throwing their weight about and sacking people at will, productivity will go through the roof as the peasants are motivated by terror to do exactly as they're told. Productivity is bound to rise, as recent experience in the banking industry demonstrates. In that industry bosses have been encouraged to act in a clinically insane manner and look how successful that was." David Cameron is reported to be very enthusiastic about the "idea" and wanted, at one stage, to wave it through Parliament without delay. Meanwhile the LibDems are claiming that this facist piece of legisaltion was only stopped because they opposed it. Apparently the threat of a general strike made no impression on Tory morons at all.

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