The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Sunday, 11 March 2012

Nick Clegg Avoids Looking Really Stupid.

In a triumph for democracy in the LibDem party Nick Clegg has narrowly escaped being shown up for the two-faced liar he's proven to be. It had been widely expected that his party might just demonstrate that it still has some integrity left by voting to kill the NHS Reform Bill. Unable to summon up the courage, however, the party has instead voted not to debate the issue on the basis that it's too embarassing and might draw attention to its conversion to right-wing politics. We asked on the delegates for an explaination; "It was a close-run thing I can tell you. For a moment there I thought we might have to discuss in public what a bunch of weasels we've now become. As it is, all we have to do is support a policy that effectively privatises the NHS and betray the entire nation. Actually we're all quite proud that we are now a grown-up political party that can lie and cheat with the best of them. Now all we have to do is avoid a total wipe-out at the next general election and we have it made. Most of my colleagues have already decided to join the Tory party before the election, but I've decided to join Labour. After all, what difference does it make?"

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