The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Monday 28 November 2011

Tory Party Recruits Next Generation Of Mysoginists.


After their recent burning of President Obama in effigy, young Tories at St.Andrews University have continued their mysoginist campaign to recruit the vacuous and purile into their party with a poster campaign entitled "She can clean my toilet for £12" and featuring a photograph showing a scantily clad French maid. Meanwhile two of its members are reported today to be in hiding after writing a column entitled "Musing On The Violent Rape of Women" in which they advised fellow Tories to punch their girlfriends in the head during sex. We asked a leading Tory for his view; "Just high jinks, don't ya know! All Tories like a bit of fun with a gel - especially if she's lower class and vulnerable. That's what fillys are for after all. As long as they marry a good Tory girl before embarking on a political career there's no harm done. There's nothing the British voter likes more than a Tory politician whose been a cad and a bounder when he was young - look at David, George and Boris. My advice to these young bucks is to take a riding crop to them if the gels complain or get a bit cheeky."

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