The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Tuesday, 8 November 2011

Brodie Clarke Strikes Back.

Brodie Clarke hit back at Theresa May tonight and denied that he acted on his own in cutting back on passport checks. We asked our legal advisor for his view; "Cicero during the 1st century BC was fond of asking one penetrating question in court, "Quo Bono," - who benefits. In this case you have to ask the question as to why Brodie Clarke would relax the rules. What was in it for him? As for Theresa May the answer is quite simple - she was anxious to save money while, at the same time, hiding from the public the risks she was willing to take with Britain's security." Armed with this we asked a government spokesperson for their view; "Theresa May risk people's lives for money? How dare you. You might just as well accuse Andrew Lansley for doing the same thing with regard to the NHS. Everyone knows that the Conservative party is a paragon of probity and has never told the electorate a lie - well none that we couldn't weazle out of at any rate. Theresa has done a wonderful job at the Home Office - sacking useless policemen, border guards and prison officers and all without once risking Britain's security or the safety of its citizens. The fact that she doesn't seem to know what was going on just goes to prove how busy she is."

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