The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Friday 4 November 2011

Theresa May Condemns St.Paul's Protestors.


The Home Secretary Theresa May, well known for her love of democracy, has condemned the protest of St.Paul's because of the image it presents to the outside world. "We can't have the rest of the world knowing that we are little better than Syria when it comes to democratic rights," she told us. "I fully support democracy as long as it is not inconvenient and protest as long as it is completely ineffective. What I won't put up with is these people occupying what I regard as the property of everyone in Britain and disagreeing with me. When I say "everyone" I of course mean those people who I regard as the better sort."

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