The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Thursday 17 November 2011

Sir Dick Shows His True Colours - Blue.


Sir Dick has moved with indecent haste to thank the Tories for flogging him a bank at a knockdown price by backing their "pauperise everyone but us" campaign. We asked Sir Dick for his comments; "You know how it is - I scratch your back, you scratch mine - one hand washes the other - democracy at its best. They give me what I need to make me even richer than Croesus and then I say nice things about them even though they are what we call in the business world "stupid." I firmly believe that the only way for Britain to get out of this present recession is to make me richer and throw everyone else out of work. The next government must not put off tough decisions if we are to save people like me from feeling any effect whatsoever from the present economic downturn. I'm came from a working-class background and know exactly what has to be done in order to forget it and become completely insensitive to the needs of others."

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