The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Wednesday 23 November 2011

Tory Describes Constituents As Zombies.


Tory MP and Health Minister Simon Burns has described his own constituents who oppose the government's plans for the NHS as "zombies." We asked the MP for an explaination; "Any one who disagrees with Tory policy is a zombie as far as I'm concerned. How dare these people disagree with me, the most important person in the world, or with my party's plans to flog off to their mates something that doesn't belong to them. I blame the schools for foolishly teaching these people to read and write. Schools should be confined to drumming into children the necessity of voting Tory and nothing more. As for letter writing, it is nothing more than terrorism and should be stamped out so that MP's like me can do what the hell we like without having to worry about things like democracy."

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