The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Thursday 24 November 2011

Sir Philip Green Complains About Tory Government.


Sir Philip Green, who pays no tax in Britain because his huge Arcadia Group is "owned" by his wife who lives in Jersey, is moaning because his company is making less money. The Arcadia Group once benefited from supplying the unemployed with clothes for interviews in a deal with the DWP but that was stopped by the present government. Now Sir Pip is reduced to pursuing his business like any other retailer, though naturally he still avoids tax on an heroic scale. We asked him why he was moaning, considering how obscenely rich he is; "I won't feel safe until I have all the money there is and I don't feel as if I'm a success unless I avoid paying tax like everyone else. People like me should be allowed to do whatever we like because we're rich. I'm only suffering now because I bribed the wrong political party but I honestly thought the Tories had no chance of winning. I was right, as it turns out, but I didn't count on the LibDems being as craven and self-interested as myself. It's not fair - I've been an honest businessman all my life or at least as honest as I've needed to be."

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