The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Wednesday, 9 November 2011

Cameron And Grayling Punish Unemployed For Being Victims.

As part of his campaign against people who have the cheek to be unemployed during a recession David Cameron has unleashed his favourite troll, Chris Grayling pictured above. "The unemployed will not be allowed to enjoy a holiday," the Minister for Torturing the Unemployed told our reporter. "If they refuse to find employment in a non-existant job market we will make them work for nothing. Being a victim is no excuse as far as we are concerned and we will not put up with them standing around, looking pathetic and accusing us with their silent insolence. These peasants will learn to do as they're told or we'll take what little they have left from them. That is only fair when you consider the trauma that poor bankers are having to endure. Look at poor Antonio Horta-Osorio, driven to the verge of a nervous breakdown because he's been revealed to be completely incompetent and won't be allowed to steal as much money as usual this year. Its heartbreaking."

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