The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Monday 21 November 2011

Tories Miss The Point - As Allways.


In a typical case of the Tory party missing the point yet again, they have announced plans to provide mortgages using taxpayers money to underwrite the debt. Cutting out the banks entirely, since they are utterly useless and completely untrustworthy, they are asking pension funds to invest directly in the scheme. "This will unlock the frozen property market," a Tory spokesperson said about the scheme. "Instead of asking for 20% deposits we will provide mortgages with significantly lower deposits." We asked our economics editor for his view; "Tossers. The reason that houses aren't selling is that no one can afford to buy them because prices are far too high. All this scheme will do is reactivate the subprime lending market which is what screwed us last time. The only difference is that the government has cut out the middle man, the banks, and made taxpayers responsible from the start. The Tories are trying to do is reinvent the wheel and a square one at that, while protecting their own ridiculous house values."

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