The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Tuesday, 1 November 2011

Britain Unprotected For The First Time In 1,000 Years.

For the first time since the reign of Alfred the Great there have been no British warships to protect home waters since the beginning of October. We asked the Ministry For A Lack of Defence for their comments; "It hasn't been easy turning back the British economy three years so you can imagine how hard we've had to work to turn defence back 1,000 years. We're immensely proud of our achievement. Since we are an island nation completely surrounded by water we came to the conclusion that the last thing we needed was a navy. We rank this achievement to be on a par with having two aircraft carriers with no aeroplanes for them and are now seriously considering having an army with no boots and an air force with no pilots. After all, we now have an economy with no workers so what's the problem?"

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