The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Sunday 13 November 2011

Top Tory Thinks Cameron Is "An Arse."


Patrick Mercer, Tory MP for Newark and widely regarded in his own party as completely mad, has attacked David Cameron for being as stupid as he is. "The man is a complete arse," he was heard to say at a party held by "The London Magazine," adding, "I loathe him." Predicting that the Tory party would turn him out of office in the spring the insane MP went on to say; "(Cameron) is a dispicable creature without any redeeming features - he's the worst politician in British history. I've never come across anyone less suited to the job in my life. I would take a beggar off the street and put him in that position rather than have Cameron." Mr.Mercer has sought to distance himself from the remarks, as any self-respecting sniveling Tory would, and has tried to deny that it is his voice on a recording making the comments. "There is a voice on the tape saying those things," he admitted, demonstrating his powers of observation, "but I am not sure its my voice." Too good to make up, "The News In Shorts" would like to pay homage to Mr.Mercer who fully deserves his title of "Complete Sniveling Twat Of The Year."

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