The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Tuesday, 1 November 2011

Occupy London Protestors To Be Given 48 Hours To Leave.

The protestors outside St.Paul's are to be given 48 hours to leave it's been revealed today. "These people have brought us face to face with our Christian principles," a Cathedral spokesperson told our reporter, "and we don't like it much. How do these people think we can maintain our investment portfolios when they're threatening one of our most lucrative income streams? It's completely unreasonable. We understand their point of view but are not in any financial position to really care. They keep asking "what would Jesus do?" Well, everyone knows that Jesus saves but only God can give sound financial advice. Let's face it anyone who can manage to get himself nailed to a tree isn't someone you'd want to get advice from is it? Christianityworld London is a business in direct competition with other attractions like Disneyworld Paris and we haven't got time for this nonsense - it's upsetting the tourists."

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